What are you imPLYing?

On Monday when I went to the bathroom at work I made an uncomfortable discovery - The janitorial service had switch from 2 ply toilet paper to 1 ply! Of all the terrible ways to save a buck! Is 2 ply really going to save you any money? People just use more paper you know! They're not fooling anyone with the thin paper. No one is saying, "Gee, even though this toilet paper is thinner it is just as absorbent." Needless to say I was very upset by this because I have very high standards when it comes to my derriere. So as a revolt I am using way too much toilet paper. I mean a lot. I got the roll spinning at record speeds! You can't be stingy when it comes to a few square of quilted goodness! Here's a fun side note:

When I was looking up how to spell "derriere" at www. m-w.com It gave "buttock" as a synonym. Well I HAD to click on it to see what they said a "buttock" was. This is what I found out:

buttock
Main Entry: but·tock
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English buttok — more at butt
Date: 14th century

1: the back of a hip that forms one of the fleshy parts on which a person sits

2plural a: the seat of the body

b: rump 1a.

"Fleshy parts" huh? I love that! I think mine is especially "fleshy." I am going to start using that word to describe myself. Katie is a fun, sensitive, and fleshy girl.

I miss my weekend of perpetual Saturdays!

This last weekend was so nice because I got four days off. Angelo and I kept saying throughout the weekend, "It feels like Saturday, but it's not! Yipppee!" Well, it ultimately had to come to an end sometime. It was so nice while it lasted! I love Thanksgiving weekend.

So much to be grateful for...

Yesterday as I was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, waiting to eat turkey, I found yet another thing to be grateful for: The fact that NBC is bringing back the show American Gladiators! I used to love that show! It began in 1989 and ran for 7 seasons. (I know it is shocking that it ever ended!) So tune in on January 6th when the show is revived. This is how NBC is describing the new show on their website:

"The ultimate David & Goliath battle returns! Everyday American heroes - men and women who spend their lives working for others - pit themselves against the show's gladiators, a team of action stars and stunt professionals. Classic events such as The Joust, The Wall, Hang Tough and The Eliminator get a whole new twist for bigger thrills, bigger impact, and the biggest action show of the 21st century!"

I think it would be awesome if they would have had the old gladiators still on the show. I wonder what Nitro looks like now or if he could still give someone a beat down in the gauntlet? I think that would be a better premise actually - it would be like the gladiators were the underdogs. Thank goodness no one can come up with any new television show ideas.

Someday my prince will come...

Have you heard about Disney's newest product? They have now created a Disney Princess Bridal line! I was reading about it in Newsweek and I almost threw up but it actually isn't what first pops into your head. My curiousity was peaked and I had to see what theses things looked like - mostly so I could mock them. I immediately imagined a bride walking down the aisle looking like one of those characters running around Disneyland. Upon googling them they are actually tasteful and quite pretty. They are dresses "inspired" by the Disney princesses. Here is the one inspired by Belle...
Supposedly they are actually somewhat affordable as well. Besides, what girl doesn't want to feel like a princess on her wedding day? Those rascally Disney capitalists are pretty smart - what will they think of next? If you want to see more go to www.disneybridal.com.

We Will Rock You

On Monday myself and some of my co-workers got to go tour the new Hard Rock Hotel which just opened in San Diego. It's a pretty cool place and the best part is that we got to take Intern with us! Ah, the entertainment that kids provides! After our tour the hotel rep took us to lunch at the Mary Jane Coffee Shop which is connected to the hotel. Intern was able to regale us with many fascinating stories. The hotel rep seemed entertained but somewhat overwhelmed with the extent of the stories. We got to hear all about his friend who cleans up after crime scenes. I guess the grossest "scene" had something to do with a robbery that went bad when the theives happened upon a martial artist whose home was being remodeled. The fight that ensued had lots to do with blood and power tools. (Remember we are eating lunch during this.) Another great story had to do with one of his first concerts he went to where he witnessed a leather clad woman (who was wearing leather thigh-high boots) kicking some guy square in the face after he grabbed her butt. He has the best stories. Perhaps not the best timing, but he is 100% entertaining.

Poor Carlos

So as I was leaving work on Monday night I noticed the greatest sign flub I have seen in a while. I work across the street from the Spreckels Theater which is a performance venue. With neon lights flashing, the big old marquee read as follows:

Forgotten Carlos
Dec. 20th - 7:30pm

I think it was suppose to read "Forgotten Carols."

Which according to Deseret Book is "Michael McLean's touching Christmas tale..."The Forgotten Carols" are original songs from the perspective of characters such as the innkeeper who turned the young couple away or the shepherd who slept through the angel's announcement. Their personal accounts, until now, have been overlooked or ignored."

So I wonder what "Forgotten Carlos" is about?

It's a Miracle!

So I have finally recovered from my deafness. Say what? My deafness - I can hear! If you don't remember - over a month ago I reported that after a cold my left ear had become clogged and I was having trouble hearing. So it kinda cleared up a few weeks later but then got worse. Two Saturdays ago I woke up and could not hear out of either ear. I shouldn't say that, I could hear but it sounded like there were cotton balls lodged in both ears which means a lot of my world sounded like the adults on the Peanuts cartoons. You know...Wah wah wah wah... wha wha wah wah? I was driving Angelo crazy because I couldn't hear anything he was saying and the TV was at about double the volume it usually is and I still wasn't able to hear it all that well. So I finally went to the doctor's last week and was told the grossest prognosis. I had extreme earwax build-up! Yuck! It had completely blocked both ear drums. (For the record I do clean out my ears and I consider myself an above-averagely clean person. This totally grossed me out.) So the nurse (yep it was Nurse Nancy) told me to use this stuff you can buy at the drug store. You drop it in your ears twice a day for four days and then on the fourth day you shoot water in your ears to dislodge this gunk. She had done it before to herself and warned me what it would look like as it came out. Thank goodness she did because if she hadn't I would have thought I was losing brain matter. So on Sunday Angelo and I set about to rid my ear of this disgusting yuck and Angelo was a little too excited to help. I think he was approaching this the same way as popping a giant zit - you know it's going to be totally gross but at the same time it's going to be awesome! So as I leaned over the bathroom sink Angelo shot some water into my ear. What came out was awful looking. Sort of brown and black chunks. I had no idea that is what lives deep in our ears. It looks something like this...

These are actually carmel cashew brownies but they have a striking resemblance to what we saw in the sink. So once my ears were unclogged I went from one extreme to the other. I then had superman's hearing abilities! The water coming out into the sink was now VERY loud. When I spoke it sounded like I was talking into a microphone. Later, Angelo was eating popcorn and I heard a kernel fall to the floor loudly without even seeing it fall. It was bizarre how loud things were. I think it was because I hadn't really heard noises in over a month and also that my ears were now cleaner than most. Even now my car keys jangling seems really loud and also the sound of papers rubbing together is driving me crazy! I am sorry to everyone I have tried to talk to over the last few weeks. I have only heard about half of every conversation that I have had but at least I have learned to appreciate my hearing. I don't think I want any brownies for awhile though.

The sweet smell of NIBS

They just changed the kind of soap they are using in our bathroom at work. It used to be yellow and it smelled like coconut. Now it is bright pink and smells like Nibs. You know, Nibs...


...those sweet cherry licorice bits. That used to be one of my favorite candies when I was a kid and I recognized the scent immediately! I had no idea that they had fashioned a soap after this delectable treat but now I know otherwise. I was so inspired by this memory that I ran down to the 7-11 on the first floor of our building and bought a bag. Now of course me being myself I could not just enjoy a few bits but had to scarf the whole bag down. This gave me a tummy ache and I soon regretted my actions. Since this incident whenever I wash my hands in the bathroom with the Nibs-scented soap, I am no longer tempted to indulge in this cherry treat. I wonder if they make a soap that smells like a cheeseburger?

Some people get paid with money...

...but this week when I did something good at work I got paid with SHOES! On Tuesday when my boss arrived at work she came into my office and greeted me with a beautifully wrapped box. When I opened the box this is what I found...


Do I have the best boss ever or what? She is a very good shopper and she picked the perfect shoes for everyone that had worked on our event last week. (This isn't the best picture of my new shoes, they are actually really pretty.) I think this is the funniest thing ever. So this totally reminds me of that movie The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler. You know how the old lady paid him in meatballs. I mean I think I got the better deal but I'm just sayin', it's kinda like that.

Twig and berries minus the berries...

So my poor little Jasper got neutered today! Now he is a satellite kitty. Poor baby!

The funnel is no good. When he goes to the litter he just becomes a giant pooper scooper. He also keeps banging into stuff. He's had a rough day!

Aaaarrrrgh!

So I just got home from work and it's 10pm! Yuck. We have our giant industry party tomorrow night at work and it is always so crazy leading up to it. I will be so glad when it's over tomorrow. I am the only one in our office who can use any graphic programs so I get to make the programs, signage, raffle information, nametags, and anything else that takes a computer. I have been on a buying spree all week too. I did not buy the booze though. I leave that to someone else. It's funny because the girl I am working on this with was asking what beer we should get and I was like, "Ah, hello, you're talking to the wrong person!" She just laughed at me. (She knows I'm Mormon of course.) Anyway, some people in the office think that more people equals more help but that isn't always true.

Them: "Katie, what do you need help with? You can have the intern all day."
Internal Me: "Um, great, now I get to spend my day trying to figure out how to keep someone else busy while my own hair is on fire."
External Me: "Great. Come on Intern."

The intern we have right now is this really funny college guy (who reminds me of John Belushi.) He is really fun to talk to normally but today I realized that the kid has a freakin' story for everything.

Me: "Can you pack all of these boxes up and move them to the boardroom?"
Intern: "Sure, this one time when I was working at a pizza place I almost cut my finger off."
Me: "Really, that's crazy, move the boxes."

Another time:
Me: "Can you spray mount all these sign to this foam core?"
Intern: " Sure, last night I was watching this Carey Grant movie about some grandmas that kill people."
Me: "Really, I haven't seen that one, here's the spray mount."

Sometimes I like to stay late at work because I can get more done with no one there. I got pretty much everything done that I needed to and I only swore at my computer and/or the printer about 5 times. I will be so glad when tomorrow is over!

Happy Birthday Tate

My nephew Tate turned 7 today! He is such a funny kid. He tells great stories and always has something funny to say. This is a picture of him from last Halloween. He was Frodo. His family is living in Dubai for a year.

Here is a picture of the Shoemaker kids in the middle east.
Happy Birthday Tate! We love you!

Another Cathyism...

Here's an excerpt from the conversation I just finished having with my boss Cathy...

Cathy: ...as the pot thickens!
Katie: (Giggling) You mean as the plot thickens...
Cathy: Shut up.