You will have a Merry Christmas!

This is a story about my boss giving a Christmas present to a Jehovah Witness.

The week before Christmas me and some of my co-workers were piling into my boss's car to go to yet another funding meeting. In the back seat there was a silver gift bag that we had to move so that we could sit down. Cathy gave the present to my coworker in the passenger seat and said, "Can you hold it? Hopefully Nadine is in the booth." (Nadine is an attendant in our building's parking garage.) Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

Co-worker: "Cathy, Nadine's a Jehovah Witness."
Cathy: "I know, that's why the bag is silver. I didn't even use Christmas tissue paper."
Me: "Cathy, I think she's going to know it's a Christmas present."
Cathy: "It's not a Christmas present."
Co-worker: "Maybe it would be better to give it to her in January."
Me: "I don't think Jehovah Witnesses ever accept presents. They don't do birthdays or anything."
Co-worker: "I think you can give a Jehovah Witness a wedding gift."
Me: "What's in bag?"
Cathy: "See's Candy and some nuts. I made sure the packaging didn't have any Christmas stuff on it."
Me: "I don't think you should do this."
Cathy: "We'll see what happens."

Nadine unfortunately works the afternoon shift at our garage so she wasn't at the booth when we passed by. Dang it! A few days later I got an update from Cathy.

Cathy: "So do you want to know what happened?"
Me: "What happened with what?"
Cathy: "With the silver bag."
Me: "Oh, of course I do!"
Cathy: "So last night when I left the garage I had the present ready. I held the bag out my window as I passed Nadine in the booth. I dropped the bag into her hands and I said, 'Thanks for being my friend!' and I drove off."
Me: "Did she say anything?"
Cathy: "Well, she didn't really have time. I dropped it and drove off real fast. She kinda shouted thank you as I drove away."

That's right, Cathy did a drive by gifting. What can I say, she loves Christmas. This after all is the woman with 40 plus Christmas sweaters who keeps her 15 foot fully decorated Christmas tree up in her living room all year long (on purpose.) She just has to spread the Christmas cheer around even if the receiver doesn't celebrate the holiday they WILL have a merry Christmas if Cathy has anything to do with it.

You've got to be pretty ticked off...

...to throw your shoe at someone. Maybe I'm wrong to think this is funny. You have to be at your wits end to come to the conclusion that taking off your own footwear and throwing it at someone is the answer. I'm sure it made him feel better too. There are definitely a few people I would have liked to have thrown my shoe at last week. Why didn't I think of that? Angelo and I immediately thought of the Austin Powers connection. Here's a funny parody video on youtube.

Other possible WMDs that could really cause some damage:

Jacked

My parents are visiting my sister in Texas right now and I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day. While over there she got a speeding ticket. Apparently it was a very unfair speed trap that the police officer had set up. She was telling me about it and angrily said, "He was just parked in the middle of the road with his little radar gun pointed at the traffic. It was so jacked up." Proudly, I am taking credit for that one. I taught her the term "jacked up." Even better she used it in its proper context. Good job Mom!

You know what is awesome?

When you sneeze right as you are putting on your mascara. It happened to me this morning and this is kinda what I looked like afterward:
Don't you love giant mascara blink marks? I hate it when that happens. The sneeze's force rocked my arm up and I almost stabbed my eye out with the mascara wand. I'm lucky I escaped without serious injury. Why is it when you have a tickle in your nose that become priority #1 to the body and all other functions are thrown out the window?

Glazed

My boss Cathy brought in two boxes of donuts this morning. You know how many people in my office eat donuts? One. Her name is Cathy. She is very sweet to bring in food, I know, but most of us are trying to be good. So a few donuts get eaten over a few days and then she puts them in the freezer. Do you know how many bags of donuts we have in our freezer at work? About 6. You can tell when Cathy has eaten a donut because there is always a trail of glazed donut icing that leads from the kitchen to her office. We've been laughing at the trail all day. When a new person see it they say, "Oh, I guess Cathy's been here." When we pointed the trail out to her earlier she just giggled and went and ate another one.

One of my favorite Cathy traits is her ADD. Of course, I say this completely out of love. For instance, when you're meeting with her you only have a finite amount of time to get your point across to her. The last few months with this big project have been an absolute joy. If you go on too long or you're talking about something boring I can literally see the moment when she isn't listening anymore. I swear we could be discussing the end of the world and if you weren't getting to the good parts quick enough you will have lost her. She starts smiling and nodding her head and says "uh huh" whenever you require an answer. Her eyes glaze over and she might as well hang a sign on her forehead that says, "we're done here."

Sunday Nap

The best blanket ever!

Tis the season

Today was the first day back to work after Thanksgiving and the official start of the holiday season. You know why? Because my boss has begun her annual "Parade of Christmas Sweaters." I don't think she has this one but she should. You get the idea.